May 13, 2008

AISEEE MATHAWE!!!! NI YUPI HASA?

MCHAGGA NI YUPI HASA? There is no Chagga tribe but just different groups of people living on the southern slopes of Mount of Kilimanjaro with the following characteristics: WAMACHAME (Business entrepreneurs) Huwezi kujua nani mwanamke na ni nani mwanaume. Kila kitu ni pesa. Yaani hata kama ni mkeo wa ndoa inakuwa hivi "kama hutoi pesa ya mbege ndoa yangu sikupi babangu" Basi kule Machame chakula cha ndoa au nimesemaje? Kufanya mapenzi ni kwa kipimo. Ukiwa katikati mama anakwambia STOOOOOOP! Hapo shilingi Elfu 20 zako ndio zimekwisha; Ukitaka ongezandio uendelee. Yahye, unasikia nasema MKE WA NDOA! Wamachame hao! Uchumba tu, lazima upeleke Kapati la mbeho! WAKIBOSHO (Specialized bandits) Mama akiwa anapiga soga na mwenziwe utawasikia hivi"Yaani Dadangu, we acha tu yule Alex wangu siku hisi amepefuka kweli; Ana akili we acha tu! Haibi tena mfukoni siku hisi, ameunda kundi lake la ujambasi, Krisimasi hii lasima nitaletewa fitenge file fya Kongo. Binti naye, AKIOLEWA NA KYASAKA, baba na mama wanamwambia " Hivi wewe huyu mwanaume kwani ni ndugu yako ? Leta hizo pesa sake tujengee huku kwetu Manka!! WAURU (The Elites)Very boring people, wakikaa ni kuongea kuhusu shule tuuuuuuuuu, masomo, digrii. Yaani yukanoti bilivu! Babu wa miaka 70 bado madaftari yake ya primary ameweka sandukuni!! Atawaonyesha wajukuu zake wote: "Ona hand writing yangu ilivyokuwa nzuri wakati nafundishwa na Father Wilson Payatt. Wanakumbuka majina ya waalimu wao hasa wazungu tangu chekechea.Uzuri wao, wanamwogopa sana Mungu. Kengele ya KANISANI ikilia saa sita mchana utaona wazee wote kilabuni wanaamka na kusali sala ya mchana ndio wanaendelea kunywa mbege.Wanapenda maparachichi hao! We acha tu!! WA OLD MOSHI (The Mechanics)!Actually Mama Mkapa ni beauty Queen kule kwao. Yaani mimi sisemi we nenda kachague mwenyewe.Taabu, Wanaume ni wabishi! Kama mkia wa mbuzi!Wanakunywa kisusio hata cha Nguruwe!! Na Gongonyingiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (Wenyewe waita Crysta-pen!) WAMARANGU (The handsome liars)!Wanaume wote ni waongo. Actually kuna somola "jinsi ya kudanganya" shule zote za primary kule Marangu. Both wanaume na Wanawake maisha ni raha tupu.Kwa Mmarangu halisi, kwanza ananunua gari, anachapamaisha, nae kulala kwenye gari wakati kodi ya nyumbainamshinda ni jambo la kawaida. WAROMBO: (The salesmen)!Kazi mtindo mmoja! Hawana tofauti ni kuruti wa Jeshi!Wanawake tunawaita "KUBOTA" aina ya matrekta waliyosambazwa Kilimanjaro na Wajapani miaka ya 1970. Watafutaji wa pesa!!!! We acha tu. Wahindi hawaoni ndani!Lakini ukimchezea anakuua na kukimbilia Kenya kupitia Tarakea.Ushauri wa bure! Rafiki yangu uamue mwenyewe lakini kwa ushaurimwepesi mwepesi nenda Uru (wasomi) au Rombo (wachapakazi). Chaguo ni lako.

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